My Official iPhone Rumor

So everyone’s talking about the hypothetical [tag]iPhone[/tag]™ soon to be announced by [tag]Apple Computer[/tag]. Much has been made of the fact that the trademarks and patents are already filed, not something [tag]Apple[/tag] does just for fun. Yet nobody can figure out just what’s supposed to be so groundbreaking.

A phone? That plays music? *YAWN*

I think I’ve figured it out, though, and I owe this revelation to the [tag]SciFi Network[/tag].

One of the major hindrances to the ostensible iPhone is the fact that nearly all major [tag]wireless[/tag] carriers have their own (crappy) music stores now. Why would they facilitate [tag]iTMS[/tag] purchases when they’ve got their own pockets to line? And, for that matter, what would Apple stand to gain by entering an already crowded market?

The answer hit me last night whilst watching [tag]Eureka[/tag], the second-best show on TV (after [tag]Battlestar Galactica[/tag], of course). Specifically, the Monday Morning Minute. Everyone in town suddenly pulls out a little device with a live video stream straight from the town mechanic, Henry (quantum mechanic, in fact). Suddenly, the video shifts to the face of the unsuspecting Sheriff, Jack, unaware that the device he’s staring at also acts as a transmitter.

There it is. Your iPhone preview. Did you miss it? Rewind the episode and look again.

What does Apple put on every single [tag]MacBook[/tag], [tag]MacBook Pro[/tag], and [tag]iMac[/tag]? A high-quality video camera small enough to fit in a laptop lid. How do Mac users connect to each other with these cameras? [tag]iChat AV[/tag], using either [tag]AIM[/tag] or [tag].Mac[/tag] as a network. What does the [tag]iPod[/tag] already do? Decode [tag]h.264[/tag]-compressed video. Not to use vulgar language here, but what is the [tag]Zune[/tag]‘s lone claim to fame? Built-in [tag]wi-fi[/tag] (that, from all accounts, suffers from the worst implementation even [tag]Microsoft[/tag] could’ve dreamed up).

Cram all of this into a single package, expand the screen size to encompass nearly one full side of the iPod, and you have your Eureka toy with an Apple on it.

Instead of relying on a wireless carrier, the iPhone (which would probably just be called the new iPod in that case) communicates either iPhone-to-iPhone or iPhone-to-Internet via wi-fi. The downside, of course, is that this limits you to available hot spots or areas with many iPhone users (malls, schools, etc.). The advantage? Every Mac user is part of your network, and you talk face-to-face for free. If I had one, I could [tag]video chat[/tag] with my parents even while I’m lost somewhere in Boston or New York.

All this speculation depends on battery power and processor capabilities (I know, and [tag]Star Trek[/tag]‘s transporter relies on [tag]Heisenberg Compensators[/tag]… shut up). And, obviously, this thing would still need to function like an iPod with tons of space for movies and audio. Given that Apple already has all the right parts, people are still reeling from how lame the Zune is, and they already have an active network of video-chatters, this could actually work.

On the off chance they do make a deal with a wireless carrier, the possibilities then skyrocket once the iPhone can survive outside of metro areas.

As with all iPhone speculation, though, this is completely baseless. I don’t have any insider tips from Apple, I haven’t heard any scuttlebutt from [tag]Leo Laporte[/tag] or made shady deals with anyone in a dark parking garage. All I know is that, with a little Apple engineering and inspiration from SciFi writers, this thing could be real.

Now spread this rumor so everyone can laugh at me once the [tag]iBlender[/tag] is announced at [tag]Macworld[/tag].

[tags]iTunes Music Store, TwiT, This Week in Tech[/tags]

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