Why you should support SOPA and PIPA

Stop SOPA The far-reaching effects of the Stop Online Piracy Act (house) and the Protect IP Act (senate) are being discussed throughout the internet right now- just as they should be. I wish every bill our leaders bring to the table fell under the same public scrutiny. I, however, don’t need to add to the discussion of global implications, I want to discuss just one. One implication has made me support SOPA: Grooveshark

You see, if SOPA passes, I want to own Grooveshark.com

It’s not about fairness or liberty or innovation, really. My support for SOPA comes strictly from the fact that it wouldn’t be difficult for me to own Grooveshark once these bills pass.

If you’re not familiar with Grooveshark, here’s their business plan in a nutshell:

  1. Allow users to post and distribute MP3’s of any band they like
  2. Whatever the users don’t post, Grooveshark will post for them
  3. Ignore DMCA takedown requests, court orders, and lawsuits
  4. Don’t pay any royalties to labels or indie musicians.

Don’t ask me how a site like this gained any legitimacy, but for some reason tons of people think Grooveshark actually supports the music it’s using to sell ads and subscriptions. There’s a reason they’ve been sued by every major label and why independents like Zoë Keating have had to issue DMCA takedown notices upwards of seven times. Just like the United States Congress, Grooveshark has become a respected batch of pirates that nobody seems to sense as a threat.

How SOPA Can Help

Under the terms of the SOPA bill (yes, I’ve read it, have you?), pretty much any site on the internet becomes a site that facilitates piracy. My dad’s blog about shit he finds on the beach in Washington? Total pirate haven. Forget YouTube, Wikipedia, and of course Grooveshark, any site with a comments section falls under this bill’s definition.

All I’d have to do is issue a notice to sites associated with Grooveshark under the new law. You read that correctly, I don’t even have to inform the site I’m attacking. At that point those sites have 5 days to stop servicing Grooveshark- Paypal, Google, whomever. If Grooveshark doesn’t somehow sense they’re being targeted via some disturbance in the force, they’ll probably keep violating copyrights and ripping off musicians as though nothing had happened.

At that point, I can literally own their domain name through a simple court procedure. I wouldn’t get their bank accounts or assets, but think about all the traffic I could funnel directly to my website through their more popular name. Hell, I could just point Grooveshark.com to my Pandora Radio station since Pandora actually pays royalties to guys like me.

If Grooveshark bothered to notice and tried to defend themselves, it’d be even better. Since every site- even mine -is now a Pirate Bay, they’d be perjuring themselves the second they tried to claim otherwise. That means jail time for their directors and executives, but SOPA adds a bonus: They would immediately be responsible for my legal fees. I could hire the ten best lawyers on the planet and let Grooveshark pick up the tab.

How You Can Help

You too can help me own Grooveshark.com – it will be a simple matter. Besides, if you don’t help me, I’ll just own your domain name instead. It will be far, far easier than you can imagine and you will have no legal recourse to fight these claims.

If you doubt any of this, I suggest you educate yourself on SOPA/PIPA right now… though I wouldn’t recommend it. Congress and their friends at the MPAA/RIAA are counting on you NOT knowing what the hell is going on in order to pass these bills.

So you’re better off joining my quest to own Grooveshark. Just tell your representatives how you feel about SOPA/PIPA and together we can make this happen!

  • See here’s my question, lets say I want to own grooveshark.com as well. What if you and me and 9,998 other people all file claims against them at the same time? Do we split the traffic between us? I assume there’s some nifty piece of code that can redirect 1/10,000th of their traffic out to each of the new owners. I’m not a coder so I have to ask these things. I think between that traffic and my 1/60,000,000th share of youtube’s traffic, I’ll be doing ok for myself. 

    • As long as I can own grrlpower.com and agree to split the traffic 50/50 with you, I’m in support of this plan.

  • See here’s my question, lets say I want to own grooveshark.com as well. What if you and me and 9,998 other people all file claims against them at the same time? Do we split the traffic between us? I assume there’s some nifty piece of code that can redirect 1/10,000th of their traffic out to each of the new owners. I’m not a coder so I have to ask these things. I think between that traffic and my 1/60,000,000th share of youtube’s traffic, I’ll be doing ok for myself. 

    • As long as I can own grrlpower.com and agree to split the traffic 50/50 with you, I’m in support of this plan.

  • The potential irony being that once YOU own grooveshark.com there’s no guarantee everyone will have noticed the change of ownership (despite the change in IP/forwarding) so the name might still be blacklisted, hence YOU then become blacklisted by association and then I get in trouble for linking to you!

    But wait… that’s why we land up breaking the Internet in the first place…

    • It’s like a neverending cycle of fail.

      Maybe this grooveshark idea needs some more work.

      • Well I think I got the answer. All we need is for someone like the RIAA/MPAA or well.. what about the US government to take over ownership instead.

        Think the people so intent on this law might get the picture if they censor themselves first?

  • The potential irony being that once YOU own grooveshark.com there’s no guarantee everyone will have noticed the change of ownership (despite the change in IP/forwarding) so the name might still be blacklisted, hence YOU then become blacklisted by association and then I get in trouble for linking to you!

    But wait… that’s why we land up breaking the Internet in the first place…

  • The potential irony being that once YOU own grooveshark.com there’s no guarantee everyone will have noticed the change of ownership (despite the change in IP/forwarding) so the name might still be blacklisted, hence YOU then become blacklisted by association and then I get in trouble for linking to you!

    But wait… that’s why we land up breaking the Internet in the first place…

    • It’s like a neverending cycle of fail.

      Maybe this grooveshark idea needs some more work.

      • Well I think I got the answer. All we need is for someone like the RIAA/MPAA or well.. what about the US government to take over ownership instead.

        Think the people so intent on this law might get the picture if they censor themselves first?

  • Stitch

    This.

  • Stitch

    This.

  • Sooprazn

    Not if I do it first!

  • Sooprazn

    Not if I do it first!

  • Jaan

    Sarcasem? 🙂

  • Walt Ebel

    Can’t figure out if you are for or against SOPA/PIPA. Too obscure for my old brain. And, hey, I’ll leave you my web-site in the will.

    • Ha! I was hoping you’d reply here…  I am definitely AGAINST SOPA/PIPA, I’d hoped the plethora of links to Google’s anti-SOPA pages would make that clear.  Only a few folks have gotten confused so far, though.

      In any case, I don’t want your website… you do a much better job than I would cataloguing the stuff that happens on the coast.  I love your photos! 🙂

      Just bear in mind that if some condo developer decides they don’t want to give the impression that the beaches are full of junk, they could easily have your site taken down before you even knew what was happening.

  • Walt Ebel

    Can’t figure out if you are for or against SOPA/PIPA. Too obscure for my old brain. And, hey, I’ll leave you my web-site in the will.

    • Ha! I was hoping you’d reply here…  I am definitely AGAINST SOPA/PIPA, I’d hoped the plethora of links to Google’s anti-SOPA pages would make that clear.  Only a few folks have gotten confused so far, though.

      In any case, I don’t want your website… you do a much better job than I would cataloguing the stuff that happens on the coast.  I love your photos! 🙂

      Just bear in mind that if some condo developer decides they don’t want to give the impression that the beaches are full of junk, they could easily have your site taken down before you even knew what was happening.

    • Ha! I was hoping you’d reply here…  I am definitely AGAINST SOPA/PIPA, I’d hoped the plethora of links to Google’s anti-SOPA pages would make that clear.  Only a few folks have gotten confused so far, though.

      In any case, I don’t want your website… you do a much better job than I would cataloguing the stuff that happens on the coast.  I love your photos! 🙂

      Just bear in mind that if some condo developer decides they don’t want to give the impression that the beaches are full of junk, they could easily have your site taken down before you even knew what was happening.

  • Bolt_furr

    This article  gets The Horse Guy clubbed baby seal of approval!

    • The Horse Guy

      Gahh your post as thing is confussing

  • Bolt_furr

    This article  gets The Horse Guy clubbed baby seal of approval!

    • The Horse Guy

      Gahh your post as thing is confussing

  • GrandMasterRufus

    Whoops. Grooveshark has actually paid millions of dollars to labels in licensing fees.

    • After all the majors sued them, yes.

      • And it’s not very clear, but they didn’t actually PAY the millions of dollars.  The majors are suing them again to actually get them to pay the money they agreed to pay in out of court settlements.

  • GrandMasterRufus

    Whoops. Grooveshark has actually paid millions of dollars to labels in licensing fees.

    • After all the majors sued them, yes.

      • And it’s not very clear, but they didn’t actually PAY the millions of dollars.  The majors are suing them again to actually get them to pay the money they agreed to pay in out of court settlements.

  • calbeck

    Hm.  Plenty of links “to” SOPA… all of which go to a site commenting on SOPA, but not to the actual bill.

    Yes, I’ve actually read it.  Virtually none of those whom I’ve heard
    from in the “it’s a new Spanish Inquisition” camp seem to have gone
    beyond a few pet phrases and creative interpretations.

    For example, it’s supposed to “destroy” the streaming of content — but
    the section on streaming is nearly identical to the laws which already
    exist concerning the public display of copyrighted content.  The sole
    difference is to clarify that, yes, streaming content IS an act of
    public display.

    You can ALREADY go to jail, and be fined, for all of the things I keep
    hearing people claim will “suddenly” become illegal under SOPA.

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