The Need to Feel “Better”

Better cover art Warning: This song is NSFW, but you should listen to it anyway. Read the lyrics beforehand if you’re worried.

So… here’s a song about my raging insecurities. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

It’s not easy being with someone who often feels, as Jon Stewart put it, “embarrassingly superior to you.” Especially when you’re an artist, which typically means you’re held together by a structural web of neuroses in the first place. I often find myself feeling “not good enough” for a lot of things. My boyfriend, my fans, an audience of strangers at a new venue, etc.

While this song’s roots are autobiographical, I decided to take it to extreme levels for the sake of art and entertainment. Sort of like cranking up the vibrance and saturation on a photo; it’s still an accurate photo, just taken to fictional levels of intensity.

I also had a lot of trouble arranging this one, knowing that it’d be the first song I sent off to Benny Grotto for proper mixing. I told Runtt NOT to listen to the demo version, just the drumless version. There was a lot of great spontaneous stuff going on when we recorded this, I think it turned out amazing!

It sucks writing about issues like inadequacy, but how often do I get to write a men’s chorus section involving fake tits? This one’s a bit of a roller coaster ride, for sure. Anyway…

For those of you who can view embeds:

And for the rest of you, go listen for free at The Officer’s Club

Why I’m Sharing This For Free (and Why You Should Too)

next-goal-professional-help

UPDATE: We’ve hit this goal, but we’ve got plenty more to shoot for!

Normally these new singles would only be available to The Officer’s Club, but we’re SO close to an awesome milestone here. While we’re still not technically up to the “Professional Help” goal of $800-per-thing, I really wanted folks to get an idea of how important that goal actually is. Unlike every other song I’ve released to The Officers, this one was sent to Benny Grotto at Mad Oak Studios for mixing…

…and wow, do I wanna do this every month. If you heard my Demo Version, this version absolutely destroys that one. The technical skills involved in keeping the bass, guitars, drums, keyboards, and vocals from crowding each other and sounding muddled is beyond my skill level. But not Benny’s.

From now on, assuming I can afford it (read: seriously, Join the Officer’s Club!), I hope to make every new single sound this good. It saves me time and energy that’s better spent on the arrangement and songwriting.

Also, PLEASE SHARE THIS FREE SONG so people know what they’re gonna get if they help us hit that Professional Help goal!

The Democratically Elected Best of Matthew Ebel Join the Robot Army, get a FREE album!

* indicates required

Enlist Today!