Don’t Take It Personally

Thu, 4/5/2007 at 2:15 pm | Comment Feed | Trackback | Leave A Comment...

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Okay folks… one of my big beefs with [tag]social networking[/tag] is the fact that everyone who knows you expects to be on your friends list. In case you hadn’t noticed, ridiculously overinflated friends lists are what killed [tag]MySpace[/tag] as a usable networking tool. It’s what killed [tag]LiveJournal[/tag], all [tag]IM[/tag] services, and to a certain extent [tag]Second Life[/tag].

So if you’re not on my [tag]Twitter[/tag] friends list (or whatever list you think you should be on), it’s because I don’t use the size of my friends list as a status symbol. Seriously. You’ve been to my shows? Emailed me once or twice? You have no idea how much I appreciate that.

Social networking tools, however, are totally useless unless they act as some kind of filter to interface with the way a user’s mind works. You may be able to parse 10,000 tweets and IM’s per day, but my mind functions differently.

It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means I’m trying to actually use [insert name of new networking tool du jour here]. You’re still a part of my conversations, that’s why you can comment below or email me.

Laurence Simon

*applause*

I have a ritual called "Three Ya, See Ya!" that I do on the third of every month where I go through every contacts or friends or buddies or subscriptions list I have and then wipe out the ones I don't need to don't want, regardless of whether folks will be hurt if they end up tossed.

I also rankle at the use of "Friends" or "Buddies" instead of the neutral "Contacts" term. Skype has that neutral term, and I like it.

I mean, if I'm following X's posts or online status because they are my enemy, I'd hardly want that as a Friend, right?

Sure, Abraham Lincoln said "I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend" but I don't think Honest Abe had SL or AOL IM in mind.

(I also have a "Three Ya, See Ya!" dance, "Three Ya, See Ya!" song, and "Three Ya, See Ya!" candle I light to complete the ritual. Then, when the ritual is over, there is the Sacrificing Of The Can Of Cherry Coke Zero.)

Brian Polensky

Great post. Pissed I missed the concert due to falling asleep on the couch.

On one hand I think more people should adopt this philosophy and things would work better, on the other hand, I add people like you and CC Chapman because I am a fan, and am interested in you guys. I would never get mad if people like you didn't reciprocate those friendships back. I say follow who you want to follow, but reciprocate with those who you will really stay in contact with.

Karen (aka MrsB)

No worries... not taken personally :-) Just a bunch of Twitter kids playing BRME (Bum Rush Matthew Ebel) today after realizing that we're making comments and answering to someone who never receives them, looking like fools, and feeling silly :-)

Looking forward to the show tonight in SL :-)