Seriously. They’re all quitting on me. I present for your perusal a shopping list of failed technology since I came to this island:

• Cell phone charger - Fortunately I solved this by getting a new phone.
• New phone - Power button got stuck after 1 day of use, making the phone shut off randomly.
• MOTU Ultralite - The interface that powers my entire performance? Yeah. Same story- shutting off randomly in the middle of a concert. Nothing like dead silence in the middle of a song with a packed dance floor.
• In-ear monitors - The wireless system that lets me hear myself when I sing? The $900 wireless system that keeps me from shouting my voice out? Yeah. Not working now.
• Earbuds - The $150 Shure earbuds I use for my monitors during performances? The right ear stopped working.
• Replacement earbuds - The $150 Shure earbuds I bought to replace them? The left ear stopped working a week after I bought them. And Sweetwater sent their replacement to my home in Boston. Thanks.
• The Myxcercycle - Somehow the controller unit shorted out, hopefully the new one will arrive today. In the mean time I’ve been pedaling a 55-pound bike with magnetic resistance on the front wheel.
• And now, MagSafe - The power brick for my MacBook came apart. I get to spend the next week borrowing power cables whenever possible and running off of battery a lot.
  Update: AppleCare is fooking amazing, btw. They’re overnighting me a new one for free. It’s an 18-month-old power brick and they’re just replacing it.

Someone please wake me when the rebellion is over. I just want my robots to behave again.

There are days when the robots seem to gang up against me and try to make me crash. Since I’ve been prepping hardcore for my upcoming summer on Block Island, I’ve been tinkering with Apple’s MainStage software, and today it is kicking my ass. Seriously. It’s refusing to do my bidding, even though I’m running through basic concert setup with it.

I need to find a real, live, actual band one of these days, even if I have to abduct some aliens and give ‘em instruments to play.

If you could hear the hair-curling obscenities I’ve been hurling at my pile of technology, you probably wouldn’t be a fan anymore. This is why I don’t do the lifecasting thing!

Presented without comment (except for yours).

Edit: Okay, I lied, I’m commenting on the notion that “when people start moving to encryption… they know they’re engaging in illegal conduct.” Apparently you’ve never kept all your financial data on a laptop hard drive before. Maybe you should start suing Apple for including 128-bit system-level encryption on every single Mac. Those Cupertinian bastards are encouraging piracy, I say!

OK, I’m done.