An Ordinary Guy
Words and Music © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
So here’s a glimpse of my perception:
I think you’re way above my station,
but I can’t shake my intention
to make a shameless proposition.
But if I try to take some action
I just might meet your satisfaction
which could lead to some affection
which might lead to an erection
of some new substantial section
of my segmented attention.
So I feel that I should mention
I’m ’bout due for some expansion.
So I’ll try to find some passion,
but my software keeps on crashin’.
I lock up fast and then I’m
staring at your ass and I…
I’m just an ordinary guy-
I pay my bills on time.
I take my pills with wine.
I’m just an ordinary guy-
Recycle all my trash.
I got my secret stash
of pornos, grass, and cash.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
I see you in the corner texting.
I hope my words don’t come out vexing,
and this may sound a bit perplexing:
The way you hold that phone is sexy.
I might have overstepped my boundary,
but I swear you’ll be glad you found me.
I sound astounded ’cause you seem chic,
and yet you might just be my dream geek.
So how ’bout this, we meet at your place?
‘Cause mine’s running out of floor space.
My Roomba seems to have been misplaced
and now it’s uglier than MySpace
in my apartment, but that’s all right.
We could just stay up ’til daylight.
We’ll grab a bite and then I’ll
Twitter you all night ’cause I…
I’m just an ordinary guy-
I love my cat and dog.
I love it when I’m flogged.
I’m just an ordinary guy-
I watch football with my friends.
I got Church I don’t attend.
I steal the restaurant’s pen.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
(Instrumental)
Well I’m just an ordinary guy-
I catch the morning train.
I curse to ease the pain.
Recycle all my trash.
I watch Dancing With The Stars.
I hate going to bars
and I own an ugly car.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
I always sucked at math.
I hate The Grapes of Wrath.
I’m not a psychopath.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
I get sick when I fly.
I won’t admit I cry,
and I’ll love you ’til I die.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
