The conversation I’m having with my computer (out loud, mind you) involves so much obscenity I won’t print an accurate transcript, but here’s something close to it (with only one obscenity):

• Computer: That guitar sample you used as a bedrock part of Surf Chickens? Yeah, that doesn’t exist.
• Me: Wait, what?
• Computer: Never heard of it before. See? I’m searching the hard drive right now and it’s just not there.
• Me: How is that possible? We not only recorded that song but we released it already. I can play back the MP3 in iTunes and you can hear that guitar loud and clear. I know it exists.
• Computer: Nope, you’re wrong. If it existed, I’d be loading those files right now. You must be hallucinating.
• Me: Fine, I’ll look in the Library folders and you’ll see it’s right… HEY! What happened to the entire instrument sample folder set? This was, like, twenty gigs worth of stuff!
• Computer: You are some kind of crazy person and I really don’t want to work with you any more. Also, I’m emailing those photos from last weekend to your mother.
• Me: WHAT?!?
• Computer: Don’t fuck with the robots, little man.

I’ll let you know when I’m having a better day. In the mean time, I’m getting some pho.

But what if I’m the only one in my studio?

The Old Way

The New Way

When I’m performing my weekly UStream show, the iPad could let me control the chat room and broadcast console without taking CPU power away from my performance machine, the MacBook. But that’s another blog post, I’m sure.

Oh yeah, and it’s a frickin’ iPad too. When I’m out of the studio, I’ve still got games, books, music, movies, etc.

When I first saw the iPad’s launch, I was underwhelmed. Now, stacking it up next to current-model control surfaces, I can’t see myself buying anything else for in-booth control. I know this won’t make much of a difference to the general public, but for guys like me it opens up a world of possibilities. I need to save some money for two pieces of control gear: One bigass Mackie mixer for the desk, one iPad for everything else.

I’m a musician, so I have to think long-term. The entry-level position for most business is either mail room, receptionist, or dishwasher. For musicians it’s playing hours of classic rock tunes in bars where people are annoyed that you’re interrupting the football game. It’s spending thousands on an album that might just sell 50 copies, if you’re lucky. It’s setting up message boards on your website and talking to the same 3 friends who are bored at their day jobs playing Farmville.

If musicians only thought short-term, nobody would go into this business.

Apple’s new iPad is a lot like a new indie band. Right now the only people who will buy it are the hardcore fans, just like the people that bought my shitty first album when I was 19. If those people thought that was all I planned to release, they wouldn’t have stuck around for the next five albums that followed it. Those hardcore fans saw potential in me and invested in my future. Some of those fans saw potential in my latest project, Matthew Ebel dot net, and signed up early, before I had even released a single live recording.

Just like the iPad, I faced a lot of doubt and hate from people who lacked vision. For example:

It’s success if that’s what he wanted, definitely. If not…then no, he’s still got more work to do.

My guess? Dude still has a lot more work to do.
Hypebot commenter

Social networking provides a tiny, infinitesimal contribution to a musicians success, with all due respect to the Ariel’s and Matts of the world.
Music Think Tank commenter

And yet, more people sign up for Matthew Ebel dot net every month. My workload does not grow with the subscribers, so the new folks only make the music better: With more income, I can afford better equipment and make better recordings. I can go on tour and not worry about paying bills. I can hire a real drummer or an engineer with great ears. The same is true for the iPad- once the überfans start buying, Apple can start using economy of scale to its advantage, maybe add a few features that were too expensive for round one.

But it doesn’t have Flash or a camera or… So what? I don’t have a drummer. Hopefully someday I will, but right now there are enough people who are content to hear me as a piano-only act that I can keep paying rent. I can’t do everything I’d like to for my fans, but enough of them support me for what I can do. Once I find enough of them to take that next step, I’ll be able to reach those who give a shit about having a live drummer.

If I tried to start my career by putting on huge shows like U2, I’d be broke and back behind a desk playing some stupid Facebook game. Long-term strategy, at least for me, has always depended on starting with my core fans and working outward from there. Instead of pointing, laughing, and eating your words once iPad (or maybe me) becomes a household name, try to look at the road ahead. For some of us, it’s the only way we can stay alive.

It’s like looking down from the top of a ski slope. Either you see every twist and turn of the path you might take, or you see a big scary unbroken mountain staring back up at you. The difference, of course, is in the mind of the skier. In either case you’re certainly not going to want to walk down a narrow little path, structured by how someone else might have descended the mountain.

So much of how technology works is centered around the left-brained types. Outlining software, databases, calendars, and to-do lists force us to think in little lines of text. I would lay money down, however, that all of those innovations started life as an idea jotted onto a giant dry-erase board.

This is why we love the iPhone’s big touchscreen but still hate entering data with it. This is why we want Apple to release a tablet MacBook already. This is why, for all we do in front of little LCD monitors, our best steps forward start with a tube-dispensed liquid pigment (or, alternately, a stick of chalk).

If you haven’t invested in a full-size notebook or a dry-erase board large enough to use as a Pilates mat, it’s time for you to head to Staples and pick one up.

Photo by Jeff Kubina

I am not getting one. In fact, I’m going to leave AT&T for Sprint as soon as I can sign on the dotted line. I’ve had it with mediocre service and expensive plans. After 5 years, they’re losing my business because they’re just too greedy.

My only question now is which hardware platform I should be looking at. This is where you come in…
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Please leave your reasoning, ideas, justifications, etc. in the comments, and let me know if there’s anything else I should consider. I’d love to hold out for Android, but my current tube-powered wood-burning phone won’t live that long.

Last month a US court ruled that border agents can search your laptop, or any other electronic device, when you’re entering the country. They can take your computer and download its entire contents, or keep it for several days.

I won’t set foot down the “we’re becoming a police state” path, I just want to focus on what this means for traveling musicians and businessfolk. So, to quote the legendary Dick Clark:

Protect your ass at all times.

If you haven’t figured out by now that Geek Squad, Apple technicians, and any other hardware support people can (and typically will) copy your music library for their own personal collection (if not your entire hard drive), then you’re just not paying attention. Heck, even auto mechanics will rip all the CD’s in your car if you leave it with them overnight.

The best solution for us Mac people has got to be the sparse disk image. Using Disk Utility, you can make a file that acts just like a disk- a 256-bit encrypted password-protected disk. That’s the kind of protection that requires a supercomputer to unravel. If the government thinks you’re a terrorist, they can get past it, but the time and computing power necessary will be reserved for more than casual use.

What about FileVault? If you’ve used it for more than a week, you’re probably sick of it already. It’s slow, cumbersome, and breaks a lot of the Mac’s functionality (like Automator). A sparse disk image is only as big as the files you store in it (unlike regular disk images) and gives the same level of software encryption.

So if you have sensitive financial data, intellectual property, trade secrets, or that DVD rip of Hot Grannies In Thongs IV (you’re weird, by the way), you can at least protect yourself from casual snoops and identity theft by keeping it all under lock and key… without having to lock down your entire hard drive.

Any other recommendations? Please discuss. Any America-bashing or even government-bashing will not be tolerated, so please remain civil.

[tags]Matthew Ebel, piano rock, police state, Christopher Penn, C.C. Chapman, laptop security, Bruce Schneier, sparse disk image, encryption, Geek Squad, Apple, theives, identity theft[/tags]

• Running Mainstage to manage all my live sound

• Processing vocals on one channel with anywhere from 3-6 effects active
• 2-3 Software instruments with at least a compressor on them, occasionally a guitar amp modeler too. Typically anywhere from 1-4 effects per channel. (read: heavy CPU load)
• Busing all 4 channels to an independent monitor mix so I can hear myself and set up my own in-ear levels
• Busing all 4 channels independently to the main house system
• Busing all 4 channels independently to Garage Band, where I can record the whole concert and mix it later. Oh yeah, and also record the raw mic input as well so I have pre-effect and post-effect tracks to play with later.

All this without anything starting to smoke. Next stop, drum loops! (Or maybe I should just get a drummer for live shows?)

[tags]Matthew Ebel, piano rock, Apple, MacBook, MainStage, Mark of the Unicorn, MOTU, Ultralite, Live Audio[/tags]

A phone? That plays music? *YAWN*

I think I’ve figured it out, though, and I owe this revelation to the [tag]SciFi Network[/tag].

One of the major hindrances to the ostensible iPhone is the fact that nearly all major [tag]wireless[/tag] carriers have their own (crappy) music stores now. Why would they facilitate [tag]iTMS[/tag] purchases when they’ve got their own pockets to line? And, for that matter, what would Apple stand to gain by entering an already crowded market?

The answer hit me last night whilst watching [tag]Eureka[/tag], the second-best show on TV (after [tag]Battlestar Galactica[/tag], of course). Specifically, the Monday Morning Minute. Everyone in town suddenly pulls out a little device with a live video stream straight from the town mechanic, Henry (quantum mechanic, in fact). Suddenly, the video shifts to the face of the unsuspecting Sheriff, Jack, unaware that the device he’s staring at also acts as a transmitter.

There it is. Your iPhone preview. Did you miss it? Rewind the episode and look again.

What does Apple put on every single [tag]MacBook[/tag], [tag]MacBook Pro[/tag], and [tag]iMac[/tag]? A high-quality video camera small enough to fit in a laptop lid. How do Mac users connect to each other with these cameras? [tag]iChat AV[/tag], using either [tag]AIM[/tag] or [tag].Mac[/tag] as a network. What does the [tag]iPod[/tag] already do? Decode [tag]h.264[/tag]-compressed video. Not to use vulgar language here, but what is the [tag]Zune[/tag]‘s lone claim to fame? Built-in [tag]wi-fi[/tag] (that, from all accounts, suffers from the worst implementation even [tag]Microsoft[/tag] could’ve dreamed up).

Cram all of this into a single package, expand the screen size to encompass nearly one full side of the iPod, and you have your Eureka toy with an Apple on it.

Instead of relying on a wireless carrier, the iPhone (which would probably just be called the new iPod in that case) communicates either iPhone-to-iPhone or iPhone-to-Internet via wi-fi. The downside, of course, is that this limits you to available hot spots or areas with many iPhone users (malls, schools, etc.). The advantage? Every Mac user is part of your network, and you talk face-to-face for free. If I had one, I could [tag]video chat[/tag] with my parents even while I’m lost somewhere in Boston or New York.

All this speculation depends on battery power and processor capabilities (I know, and [tag]Star Trek[/tag]‘s transporter relies on [tag]Heisenberg Compensators[/tag]… shut up). And, obviously, this thing would still need to function like an iPod with tons of space for movies and audio. Given that Apple already has all the right parts, people are still reeling from how lame the Zune is, and they already have an active network of video-chatters, this could actually work.

On the off chance they do make a deal with a wireless carrier, the possibilities then skyrocket once the iPhone can survive outside of metro areas.

As with all iPhone speculation, though, this is completely baseless. I don’t have any insider tips from Apple, I haven’t heard any scuttlebutt from [tag]Leo Laporte[/tag] or made shady deals with anyone in a dark parking garage. All I know is that, with a little Apple engineering and inspiration from SciFi writers, this thing could be real.

Now spread this rumor so everyone can laugh at me once the [tag]iBlender[/tag] is announced at [tag]Macworld[/tag].

[tags]iTunes Music Store, TwiT, This Week in Tech[/tags]

Which Vista Is the Right Vista?

Is it Vista Starter, which can only access 256 MB of RAM and run a maximum of three applications at a time…?

…Maybe it’s Vista Home Basic which isn’t crippled (other than it just being Windows – zing!). Oh, but it doesn’t include the [tag]Aero Glass[/tag] interface either. And it doesn’t work well in domain or Active Directory [tag]networks[/tag].

…Wait, wait, wait. Forget that. You know what should do? Instead of trying to figure this out, you should just buy Vista Ultimate. Have you got $400? And another $1,500? Because you’re going to need a new machine.

All in all, there’s six versions of suckage on the way from Microsoft. Six! I can’t imagine how this could be good for compatibility with audio hardware and software. Or, frankly, any hardware or software.

[tags]Windows Vista, Apple, Macintosh, OSX[/tags]

• Subscriptions, Subscriptions, Subscrtiptions
  Got [tag]Firefox[/tag], [tag]Safari[/tag], or any other modern browser that’ll let you subscribe to an [tag]RSS[/tag] feed? Check out the icons throughout the site. All you have to do is drag those icons to your RSS reader and you’ll have the latest info straight from the website.
• Got [tag]iCal[/tag]?
  Actually, [tag]Apple[/tag]‘s iCal, [tag]Google Calendar[/tag], and many other applications will let you subscribe to the [tag]Matthew Ebel[/tag] event schedule. Now you can get the tour dates added to your computer, your phone, your [tag]iPod[/tag], or anything else that keeps you in sync. Just copy this link into your calendar app, or download the [tag]vCal[/tag] file and use it.
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