The conversation I’m having with my computer (out loud, mind you) involves so much obscenity I won’t print an accurate transcript, but here’s something close to it (with only one obscenity):

• Computer: That guitar sample you used as a bedrock part of Surf Chickens? Yeah, that doesn’t exist.
• Me: Wait, what?
• Computer: Never heard of it before. See? I’m searching the hard drive right now and it’s just not there.
• Me: How is that possible? We not only recorded that song but we released it already. I can play back the MP3 in iTunes and you can hear that guitar loud and clear. I know it exists.
• Computer: Nope, you’re wrong. If it existed, I’d be loading those files right now. You must be hallucinating.
• Me: Fine, I’ll look in the Library folders and you’ll see it’s right… HEY! What happened to the entire instrument sample folder set? This was, like, twenty gigs worth of stuff!
• Computer: You are some kind of crazy person and I really don’t want to work with you any more. Also, I’m emailing those photos from last weekend to your mother.
• Me: WHAT?!?
• Computer: Don’t fuck with the robots, little man.

I’ll let you know when I’m having a better day. In the mean time, I’m getting some pho.

• Cell phone charger – Fortunately I solved this by getting a new phone.
• New phone – Power button got stuck after 1 day of use, making the phone shut off randomly.
• MOTU Ultralite – The interface that powers my entire performance? Yeah. Same story- shutting off randomly in the middle of a concert. Nothing like dead silence in the middle of a song with a packed dance floor.
• In-ear monitors – The wireless system that lets me hear myself when I sing? The $900 wireless system that keeps me from shouting my voice out? Yeah. Not working now.
• Earbuds – The $150 Shure earbuds I use for my monitors during performances? The right ear stopped working.
• Replacement earbuds – The $150 Shure earbuds I bought to replace them? The left ear stopped working a week after I bought them. And Sweetwater sent their replacement to my home in Boston. Thanks.
• The Myxcercycle – Somehow the controller unit shorted out, hopefully the new one will arrive today. In the mean time I’ve been pedaling a 55-pound bike with magnetic resistance on the front wheel.
• And now, MagSafe – The power brick for my MacBook came apart. I get to spend the next week borrowing power cables whenever possible and running off of battery a lot.
  Update: AppleCare is fooking amazing, btw. They’re overnighting me a new one for free. It’s an 18-month-old power brick and they’re just replacing it.

Someone please wake me when the rebellion is over. I just want my robots to behave again.